November 2009
14 posts
I feel like I'm moving in slow motion.
dextero:
Like I’m moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast, and I just wanna go back to when things were normal. When I wasn’t laying on the bathroom floor. But I am. So I can’t. And I’m- I’m just stuck, and there is all this pressure because everyone is hovering around me waiting for me to do something. Or say something, or flip out, or yell and cry some more and...
You say potato, I say vodka.
sorry, no one puts baby in the corner and gets away with murder.
“What it is and where it stops nobody knows
You gave me a life I never chose
I...”
“a cynic is a man who,
when he smells flowers
looks around for a coffin.”
– Henry Mencken (via dextero)
Me: “That will be 17.50, please.”
Customer: “Are you a Christian, dear?”
Me: “Why do you ask?”
Customer: “Are you?”
Me: “Well, no. Why do you want to know?”
Customer: “Oh. I would like to be helped by someone else, please.”
Manager: “Good morning ma’am, I hear you’ve been having a problem with the clerk?”
Customer: “Oh, she didn’t make any trouble, it’s just that I don’t want my money to be handled by someone not of the faith. You should be careful, she’ll probably nick from the till when you’re not looking.”
Manager: “You’re right, ma’am, I shall definitely have to reprimand her.”
Me: *surprised* “What for?”
Manager: “For failing to notice that the lady was not planning on paying for the three Mars bars and the map of Europe she must have put in her bag while you were fetching me.”
(The customer freezes for a second, then looks at her bag.)
Customer: “Good heavens! I must’ve been so distracted I didn’t even notice the devil putting them there!”
uʍop ǝpısdn ǝɯ ʞɔnɟ
dextero:
(via robotpandabobbee)
